I woke up with boobs on my mind. I have been researching breast reconstruction all morning on the internet. Every survivor you meet loves their doctors and want to show you their "boobies." So the referrals are beginning to pour in. It's difficult to process all this information. For me this is perhaps the most important part of the process. I have never liked my breasts. I have always dreamed of reducing and reshaping them since I was a girl. And then there is the cost...my mother told me the other day that one of the top guys in Santa Monica charges 50K and does not take insurance! Holy crow.
I'm feeling about as unattaractive as possible these days. My hair continues to grow longer in soft feather-like plumes, but not en mass over my entire head. The steroids have made my already round face even rounder and I am retaining water even though I drink 12 glasses of water a day. My rings don't fit, my clothes are tight, and my scale shows weight gain of 6 pounds. This sucks!
On the other hand, I am now half way through chemo and that is cause for celebration! Only 3 more rounds to go. The Mesna my doctor gave me for bladder pain seems to be working. The very large doses of Ibuprophen for these few days also seem to help, however, the real test comes tonight. My plan for tonight is Ativan, ibuprophen, Uristat, heating pad, and anything else I can think of. Ativan has become my best friend for sleepless nights I just hope it holds up through the painful one. I have faith it will.:)
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