shaved head

shaved head
Channelling GI Jane

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Wednesday, Dec. 29, 2010: Erich's birthday

Today is my husband's 43rd birthday. When did we get so old? Just yesterday we were 25. I feel well, a little stronger everyday. I was brought down by some horrible perfume and now I have thick, raspy air stuck in my throught wanting to enter my lungs. I'm trying to drink lots of fluids and lay low. I can't get sick or aesthmatic now. Yesterday I made doctor appointments for Erich and I to renew our medication prescriptions. The Nurse Practitioner we saw gave me a quick look and heard an irregular heartbeat, so she gave me an EKG, which turned out: IRREGULAR. I contacted my oncologist as well as my surgeon this morning. Although noone is concerned about my having a heart condition, we are all concerned that any aneasthisiologist might refuse to put me out for surgery, which is! Oy vey. Thank God my parents are connected to the medical community in Santa Monica. My mother made a phone call to a steller cardiologist (who worked me up in 2002 for anxieety provoked irregular heartbeat) and he agreed to see me on Monday. Just when you think all the balls are rolling smoothly straight ahead!

Meanwhile, I have lost 4 pounds. My hair is coming in fast, however, I cannot say the same for my eyelashes and eyebrows. My skin disorder on my hands has returned with a vengence as well as a nasty case of athlete's foot on both feet (which I have never had before). "Chemo Brain" has set in and I find myself forgetfull and unable to sequence events well. I often forget to take my anti anxiety meds, which make my foggy headedness even worse.

My month home alone with my boys has been delightful. I'm not saying they have been angels, quite the contrary, but I have enjoyed playing and snuggling with them daily. They are challenging, but I love them more than I can express. They have been through alot the past few months and they now spontaneously curl up on my lap and shower me with hugs and kisses. I will be very happy when this next big phase is over. I am content having spent the Christmas holidays with family and I look forward to spending New Year's with friends. I am also bursting with happiness for my girlfriend, Eileen, who became engaged over the holidays. Miracles really do happen that she was able to find someone as gracious, generous and with as huge a heart as she.

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