Monday, September 13, 2010
Day 7: Round 2 Chemo Kicked My Ass
Round 2 went to the chemo. I was not prepared to hurt so much, feel so utterly alone, and wonder if I could ever be the same after all of this. For me I can tell each chemo will build upon the previous one. This time around the mouth pain and GI pain was better. The bowels were good. Day 6, I need to remember just not to eat. But, damn that bone pain that just radiates, well...from the core of your bones, is just merciless. And, this time for added fun my bladder condition sparked up. Like butane flowing through my bladder. Night 4, and days 5 & 6 will be my hurdles. I will consult with my doctor about a bladder pain pill. In addition, I'm thinking of suiting myself with an adult diaper and consuming an entire "green edible." I'll wake up when it's over. Erich doesn't think he can watch me do that. The only thing I wanted was my mommy. I just wanted to crawl in her bad and put my head in her lap. I was already having my own pitty party by this time, wondering if anyone really needs to be so sick that they can't wipe their own ass at our age? But then I though about my mom and the fact that she no longer has a mommy to soothe her in times of need. And I cried even more. I am stronger today. I'm out of bed and will pick up the kids from school today. Round 2 over, 4 more to go. I can do this!