I have been on bedrest the past 5 days, AGAIN! I'm still not healed enough to start radiation and my indo is running out. I have an appointment at St. Joe's on Tuesday, but no one thinks I will start radiation. Maybe next week. It's down to a deep hole the size of a dime. It's really amazing how far I have come. The buying and selling of houses has made us crazy, but all is good. No excersise and I have put on 4 pounds since January. Lord, I have never wanted to move my ass so badly in my life. I no have the boobs of a 19 year old, but the ass of an 80 year old!
I bleached my hair platimun a couple of weeks ago. Aubrey did a beautiful job and it looked hot. I decided to lighten my roots at home and turned my hair silver. Thank God, Aubrey came to the rescue via text. I am no some sort of golden blonde. I like it. I think I was born to be blond and smaller chested.
I made an appointment to see my shrink, it's been 3 months. This disease is beginning to play games with my psyche. All I want to do anymore is follow my ID. I want what I want when I want it! I have tickets to 3 concerts this summer and I bought a pair of white 20 eye Dr. Marten boots. Why? I wanted them. Erich confronted me with the boots and my response was, "You could have lost me. It's a small price to pay." I really feel that way. I want to buy nice things and indulge my senses by hearing great music live, and eating gorgeous food. I really don't want to work, or buy groceries, or cook dinner, or clean house. Life is short, why spend it doing mundane chores? I want to travel and I want botox. The truth is; I may be cancer free right now, but what does the future hold? How long do I have? I'll be discussing these issues in therapy next week.
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